Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
