Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just tell him i said nine months
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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