I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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