You work out of a Hotel?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
