Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
