hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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