Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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