So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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