he wants to bone in the snuggie
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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