A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
