He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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