the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
