dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
