gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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