More tranny stories later!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
