If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
and you fell through a lawn chair
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
