but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
