Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
