these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
