Whod you bang
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
