just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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