i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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