she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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