i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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