PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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