We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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