Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize