hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
