i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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