I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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