I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
