Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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