Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
