We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My dick has a subreddit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
