ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
