so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
