Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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