Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
