Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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