5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
