PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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