I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
