i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
