I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
