I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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