glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
