hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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