Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
