yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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