He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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