I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
whose parrot is this?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
try to milk me bitch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
