i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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