Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
