Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
