The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
