O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think my fart just growled at me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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