she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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