Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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