she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
