For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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