fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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