we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We are all done wearing pants today
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
